Pimp Answers

The EKG changes associated with pulmonary embolism are:

  • S1Q3T3 (the classic test answer)
    • a prominent S wave in lead I
    • a Q wave and inverted T wave in lead III
  • sinus tachycardia (MOST COMMON)
  • T wave inversion in leads V1 - V3
  • Right Bundle Branch Block

PMTH Pimps again

What EKG changes are classically seen with a pulmonary embolism?


Oh oh pick me!

Look no further for your Director of Dining! As an M2 who loves to bake, I can guarantee full bellies and afternoon sugar crashes.

True story: I have green jello in my cupboard because I was planning on creating a human-sized skull with jello, and then pouring an opaque jello brain inside. An ode to passing neuroscience, you know. For enhanced gustatory confusion, I’d flavor the green jello with jalapeno peppers, and the brain with white cheddar. (And just so you know, I’m pretty sure in France, salty gelatin things are called aspics.)

My talents are numerous and include sleeping on airplanes, scruffing mice, and using my imagination. I also make a mean eyeball cake pop.

PMTH is always in need of extra help in the kitchen. You’re hired!


Q
Is the position of Chief of Desserts already filled? I'm also willing to settle for lunch lady, but only if I don't have to wear a hairnet.
A

What a stroke of luck! An applicant!

The job of Director of Dining is yours IF you submit your own original recipe containing the ingredients listed in the original job listing. 

This job will of course be in addition to your regular med student duties. 

-mgmt


Chef Wanted

PMTH’s dearly loved Director of Dining, Chef Bork von Bleurdebleugh, has recently given notice of his intention to retire almost immediately. 

Thus, PMTH will now be accepting applications for head cafeteria chef/Director of Dining and for a Sous chef.

Please submit your best recipe (all recipes MUST include green jello, mystery meat, frozen peas and carrots, grilled cheese sandwiches, or pancakes as an ingredient) along with your qualifications to the PMTH submissions box


Medical School Application

     I would like to apply to your most esteemed medical program! I am an incoming MS1 and am perfectly qualified to preform all of the scut work required of a medical student in return for a top notch medical education.

     I will bring a number of qualities to your hospital staff & medical teams that may not be present… Positive qualities that I can bring to any medical team are my positive, laid back attitude; my quaint southern charm; a “charming” southern drawl; lots of down home sayings; the ability to think quick on my feet & some minor medical experiences.

     My medical experience thus far comes from creative last minute solutions to problems that my family has encountered over the years. I have made crutches out of a 2x4 after I broke my leg fixin the roof after the last hurricane. I have lanced the boil on my Dad’s back and packed it with alcohol on some cotton balls. I have also made an emergency catheter for my grandpa after he thought he was gonna pass out from his prostate problems, but that’s a conversation for another day.

   My weaknesses are coffee and huntin’. I may or may not be a coffee “addict” and usually call in for a day off on the first days of Deer, Duck & Squirrel seasons. I am also prone to vasovagal episodes when I see babys being born, so OB/GYN probably shouldn’t be where I work regularly; unless yall find people passin’ out to be comical. 

     Being a medical student at your center would be an honor and would be the chance of a life time!!!

From PMTH: 

You have been accepted! As an MS1, your main job will be to study and provide occasional donuts to the break room (no “special” donuts, please). It would also be appreciated if you would submit your PMTH Morning Report Post sometime before Christmas on any medical topic you choose. 

Also, have you been made aware of the Southern Belle Medblr Dynasty (with its own tag and everything)? Southern Belles and Gentlemen are most welcome. 


NEW INTERNS — FINALLY

DANGNABBIT I’VE BEEN WAITING 4 MONTHS FOR JULY TO ROLL AROUND. MY PROSTATE’S BEEN ACTING UP SOMETHING FIERCE, AND ALL I WANT IS SOMEBOY TO REFILL MY EXPIRED FLOMAX PRESCRIPTION WITHOUT DEMANDING TO STICK A FINGER UP MY POOPER AND POKE ON MY PROSTATE.

NOW THAT THE CLINIC IS FULL OF FRESH INTERNS, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO “DEFER” THE RECTAL WITHOUT MUCH DIFFICULTY. (IT HELPS TO NOT SHOWER FOR ABOUT A WEEK BEFOREHAND, AND EAT NOTHING BUT TACO BELL FOR BREAKFAST DAY OF THE APPOINTMENT).


Q
How many students or rather, followers does this have on here. Are you taking in more applications now hahahahhahahahaha I believe I make good toast and coffee ya know.
Anonymous
A

Currently 897 Employees/Students/Patients.

And we are always accepting applications for tea and toasters. 


Q
Haha can incoming med students apply?!
A

Definitely!


MEMO: Code Red Bucket

For staff whose code cheat sheets may not be the most up to date, we remind you that the Code Red Bucket is put in place in times like today when the hospital’s water supply has been cut off. 

All staff and patients will be provided with buckets and biohazard bags to use as latrines until hospital engineering finds a leaky pipe or accounting pays the overdue water bill. 

Thank you for your cooperation. 


CODE RED BUCKET. I REPEAT, WE HAVE A CODE RED BUCKET SITUATION.


Q
The bell rings over the intercom before the calm lady-voice states above: "Code Walker. I repeat, Code Walker. A 77-year-old white male has recently disappeared from the psych unit. He was last seen wearing only a standard issue hospital gown and refuses to tie the back. The patient will answer to Steve. Please remove children from the unit hallways, as he is known to reveal himself when called. Thank you. Again, Code Walker..." The current interns all deny blame.
Anonymous
A

PMTH Resident Pimp Time

baffledinbrooklyn:

Hey, princeton-medbloro folks, it’s pimping time.

What’s the differential for rash on the palms and soles?

Hand, Foot, Mouth (Coxsackie)

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

Secondary Syphillis

Kawasaki’s, Measles, and SSSS cause desquamation of the hands and feet

And if I remember correctly from a few patients I saw overseas, Typhoid can cause a rash on palms and soles.


Notice to All Incoming Interns

Urine and stool samples are to use color coded labels for ease of sorting. Any incoming intern who fails to follow the below coding procedure will be scheduled as Q2 for the remainder of the residency.

  • Yellow = if you gave your sample while at a bar
  • Green = if you have consumed asparagus in the last 24-hours
  • Blue = If you have consumed too many slushies
  • Black = If you have recently battled Montezuma’s revenge with Peptol Bismol.
  • Red = Any and all beet related atrocities

All samples are to be left at the the Administrative Coordinator’s desk, in the large cooler labeled “Dr. Baffled.”

Additionally, interns who do not supply the Administrative Coordinator with donuts will be assigned to the parking lot to clean up the mess Dr. Cranqis left.

Sincerely,

ladyofthehouse

Administrative Coordinator
Princeton-Medbloro Teaching Hospital


Calling all incoming PMTH interns

Please check in with your Administrative Coordinator, LadyoftheHouse, by June 25. She will need you to please bring with you your urine and stool specimens for testing.